It’s Nice You Care…

Art by Ralph Steadman Art by Ralph Steadman

What does Gonzo Gastronomy mean?

Hunter S. Thompson, a writer whose work I love, coined the term “gonzo journalism” as a style of journalism that’s written subjectively, often including the reporter as part of the story (first person narrative). It pisses on the “polished” edited style favored by the media, and strives for the gritty factor. Use of quotations, sarcasm, humor, exaggeration and profanity is common. It supposes that journalism can be truthful without striving for objectivity, and given that discussing food and wine is seldom about objectivity either, I kinda dig that—you dig?

Why do you write?
Because they won’t let me drive stock cars.

Are you qualified to write intelligently about food and wine?
I eat—every day—and drink most of those, too. That means I have more experience in food & wine than George W. Bush had in running a successful enterprise, and it didn’t seem to stop him from becoming the leader of the free world for 8 years. So yeah, I’d say I’m qualified to write about food and wine. Wine For All has also taken a shining to me, so I guess you can throw “wine education” onto the pile as well, if that somehow allays your worries about my level of experience. As for credentials, certifications, accreditations, and that sort of riff-raff, I am a graduate of the Groucho Marx School of Thought: I refuse to join any club that would have me for a member.

Fine, you know about food & wine, but are you a REAL writer?
Define “real”. I can’t claim to have written any critically acclaimed novels, Pulitzer Prize-winning articles or even any catchy commercial jingles. I was, however, the editor-in-chief of both my high school and college literary magazines, and once wrote a well-received short story about losing my virginity—a comedic piece. I also wrote for my local newspaper, as a sports columnist if you can believe that. It lasted all of 2 months, until I was asked to cover my neighboring town’s goose-crap-laden track field meet and told my editor to piss off. Then, while in college, I worked for the Wine Enthusiast magazine—impressive, right? I didn’t actually write for them, per se, but I worked in editorial, so it’s kinda like writing, I guess, what with osmosis and all. Other than that, you can pretty much consider me a pen for hire, in search of publications as crazy as Mutineer Magazine is for appreciating my rants.

Got a day job?
When I’m not busy acting as consultant to the imaginary wine makers in my head, I’m a graphic artist/art director/illustrator/coffeemaker extraordinaire. In fact, you may have seen my handiwork on contemporary pieces of art like gas relief capsules, passenger car motor oil and wood varnish.

Why the hell should we care what you have to say?
Good question.

Do you accept samples for review?
Of chocolates, foie gras and bacon? Why yes, thanks, but I can’t promise any objectivity whatsoever! Other than that, wines, beers, spirits, foods, books, etc. are welcome. I taste everything edible/potable I receive (blind if possible, deaf if necessary) and won’t bash something I dislike no matter how much fun it may be to do so—but that doesn’t mean I won’t include criticism, because I will. I DON’T spit out my wine when I’m tasting. I tried it once, but I got a really nasty look from my dinner guests and haven’t done it since. If my readers wouldn’t be spitting out the wine I recommend, why would I? It’s an encompassing experience, not a lab test. I DO, however, spit on points and ratings. You’ll never see one here unless I’m judging a critic’s review. I cover marketing and packaging A LOT, so if you think you’ve gotta winner, bring it on. Lastly, I do not accept advertising of any sort, regardless of the fact that your money always looks better in my wallet, so thanks but no thanks.

Contact Me: katie (@) gonzogastronomy (.) com