"Baby here's the game plan…"

by Katie Pizzuto on March 13, 2009

in Labels,marketing,Uncategorized,Wine

Inner Dialogue 1: Just go in, buy the Maker’s Mark, and WALK OUT.

Inner Dialogue 2: Yeah, I KNOW I can do this. There’s no good wine in that liquor store anyway.

ID1: Remember, JUST the bourbon. No other purchases.

21703ID2: Right, right, I got it! You don’t have to be so nasty about it. You’re talking to me like I have no self control or something! (begins to head down aisle toward the bourbons but is stopped short at a kiosk with Ed Hardy wines)

ID2: How COOL! It’s like a big tattoo on a wine bottle. If nothing else, that would make for a neat vase or rolling pin or SOMETHING.

ID1: ForGET it! It probably tastes like complete crap and you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass for thinking anything so commercial could possibly be any good.

ID2: I know, I know. But it’s so COOL. They’re only $9.99. It’s not like I’m blowing a paycheck here, I mean, what are we talking, two Grande Espresso Truffles at Starbucks? And it’s made in France. Look, see?

ID1: Yeah, but mass-made cab? Chard? Gimme a break. You’re gonna wind up lubricating the kitchen sink drain pipe with this and you know it.

ID2: There’s a Rosé. That’s bound to be better than the other two! And it’s so COOL. Eh, $9.99—fuck it, I’m buying a bottle. (goes to the register before realizing that she has forgotten to grab the bottle of Maker’s Mark so she runs back down the aisle and grabs the bourbon)

One Hour Later…
ID2: Holy mother of God this is TERRIBLE (she says as she takes a sip while preparing a beef stew).

ID1: I…

ID2: Do NOT say “I told you so.” I get it. Impetuous purchase that was bound to bite me in the ass, right?! Buying for the wow factor rather than the wine factor, am I close?! Well, I don’t give a shit. A cup of it is going into the stew, and I’ll make a dessert reduction out of the rest with some sugar and cinnamon and other stuff, and, and, and…and who the hell was the jackass that told me to go buy some Maker’s Mark anyway?

ID1: Uh, that was me.

ID2: Well next time let’s stick to the plan, OK?

ID1: Right. The plan.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 winedivergirl March 13, 2009

ok, thanks god I’m not the only one with a schizo and continuous internal dialogue! And since I didn’t get to have my own Ed Hardy art work on my body (but did get something from Erno’s on Filmore)…I’d have bought it ooo. I hope you kept the bottle!

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2 Katie Pizzuto March 13, 2009

A. yes, I kept the bottle, though not sure if it’ll be a vase or rolling pin (i currently use Armida’s Poizin as my rolling pin).

B. I designed all my tats, cuz I’m special that way 😉

C. Yes, I’m schizo and so am I.

Reply

3 Linsey March 13, 2009

LMFAO that was funny

I do the same – not with alcohol of course – but telling myself not to go OTT and I always do…

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4 John March 20, 2009

Hilarious!

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