"And you won't see me, you won't see me…"

by Katie Pizzuto on February 12, 2009

in food writing

iccDear International Culinary Center,

You’ll have to forgive me if I choose not to enroll in any of the latest course offerings you emailed me about such as “Food Journalism,” “The Craft of Food Writing,” or “Food Blogging.” I know it sounds a bit crass but I have a hard time taking instruction on how to write well from an institution that sends me an email titled “Write For Food.” See, that title kinda reminds me of the guy that sits on the steps of the church over on 87th Street who looks like Gary Busey but smells like Newark, NJ and has a sign around his neck saying “Will Work For Food”. I don’t write for food, I write about food (and wine, and music, and motherhood, and anything else that generally pisses me off or soaks my shorts). If you can’t get that right—or write—what the hell can you hope to teach me? That’s about as bad as an editor-for-hire sending me an email riddled with typos, sweetheart. Tell ya what…YOU stick to teaching people how to cook, and I’LL stick to writing about it all. But thanks for thinking of me and my blog, which you have obviously deemed to be in need of more skilled writing. I’ll make a mental note of it—a grammatically correct note, of course.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Robbin Gheesling February 12, 2009

And let’s not forget the COST of the recreational classes at FCI/ICC.

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2 Katie Pizzuto February 12, 2009

EXCELLENT point, Robbin! For those who don’t know, these classes mentioned above run from about $800 to over $1000.

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3 Coupe 60 February 13, 2009

I usually like when you drop the F -bomb in these type of stories…This blog needed a Frack the ICC…at the very least…

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4 Katie Pizzuto February 13, 2009

But Coupe, I said “pisses me off or soaks my shorts”….that’s not profane enough for you? Geez! Is that the only reason you read my blog as opposed to everyone else’s? Because I’m comfortable enough with my skills as a writer to say things like, “Hey, ICC, go fuck yourself”? LOL!

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5 Linsey February 13, 2009

grabs the soap – my my … such language!

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6 Coupe 60 February 13, 2009

Katie…I kinda glossed over the “soaks your shorts” line…my apologies

and seriously, you are a talented enough writer that you don’t need to work blue…

I’m apparently just not a talented enough reader …

🙂

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7 The Wine Commonsewer February 14, 2009

Soaks your shorts? That isn’t really anything like getting your panties in a bunch. Is it?

I don’t write for food but I will dang sure write for wine. Course, that isn’t any surprise.

Will [insert many things here–no, not that] for wine.

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8 The Wine Commonsewer February 14, 2009

My mother used to grab the soap. It was icky and it didn’t help. I still have a potty mouth to this day. Not on my blog though, cuz my kids and my clients read it. But, Dude, you do not want to be an inanimate object that I just tripped over.

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9 Katie February 14, 2009

I’ll write FOR wine too…no question! And thanks, Coupe, but I don’t think being a good writer and working blue are opposing approaches. I write to you guys as if I were talking to you so that, by default, will always be a combination of wit, introspection and yes, cussing! Speaking of writing, everyone go hunt down a copy of Mutineer mag…Mrs. Gonzo has a column in it…go!

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10 Linsey February 14, 2009

Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey swear like troopers – never stopped them being the most popular chefs in the UK

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11 Coupe 60 February 14, 2009

Is this the part where somebody makes a joke about the top chef in England…Is that like being the tallest pygmy?

Not me mind you, cause that would be uncalled for… 🙂

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12 Linsey February 14, 2009

ooooooooooooooooooh – cookery books at dawn – lol

gordon ramsey actually holds more than a few michelin stars

yeah i know general uk fair isnt much to write home about – but i tasted coffee on the liberty island ferry – now that is disgusting!

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13 Coupe 60 February 17, 2009

Linsey…I hope the Liberty Island Ferry coffee is not your benchmark for US cuisine…

…and I hope you know I was also making a joke…ask Katie, she’ll tell you what a jackass I am…I mean humorist.. 🙂

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14 Katie Pizzuto February 17, 2009

Repeat after me, Coupe:

OWA TANA SIAM

man have these comments digressed!! LOL!

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15 Linsey February 17, 2009

believe me i know that ferrys coffee was nothing like real us coffee – i actually had a lovely cup in a cafe … i think in greenwich village … now that was good

btw katie i just made some homemade hard english toffee – not dissimilar to butterscotch – u want the recipe?

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16 Katie Pizzuto February 17, 2009

By all means, Lin…email it to me. Thanks!

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17 Linsey February 17, 2009

done it – hope u try and like it

failing that when i come over im gonna bring some werthers toffee over – its harder than the first stuff i sent – but this recipe tastes similar

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18 The Wine Commonsewer February 18, 2009

I noticed Tom Wark at Fermentation is really pushing Mutineer.

I tried to find your piece online but couldn’t

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19 Katie Pizzuto February 19, 2009

Nope, Mutineer never puts any of their published material online….only way to read the article is to get a copy in your hands. My column is on the last page…aptly called The Final Word. I’ll have the same column in it again for the next issue, this time on Champagne.

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20 KFAB March 16, 2009

Oh Katie. How can you call yourself a food writer and then embarrass yourself on your own blog, clearly unfamiliar with popular books on the very topic.

http://www.amazon.com/Will-Write-Food-Cookbooks-Restaurant/dp/1569243778

Apparently other people more important than you think it’s a pretty clever title… You can’t teach good taste.

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21 Katie Pizzuto March 16, 2009

Excellent…I knew there were even MORE ignorant people in this world than little ol’ me could count! I’d thank you, KFAB, but don’t know who the hell you are! 🙂

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22 KFAB March 18, 2009

It’s pretty hilarious that while you turn your nose at the thought of writing for FOOD, you find it perfectly acceptable to write for WINE, which is undoubtedly a far more accurate depiction of said Jersey-smelling Gary Busey look-alike with sign on church steps…

Why didn’t anyone else pick up on that?!!

Not that readership of this trifling banter is deserving of credit, but I’ll just go ahead and assume that everyone here is just a lot nicer than you (go ahead, I’m sure your snarky response is fermenting in your sad little head already).

Good try, though!

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23 Katie Pizzuto March 18, 2009

Oy, rather than toss you into the spam folder, I’ll ask you to reread this because you’re apparently as stupid as you sound…I never said I turn my nose at the thought of writing for food…my point was that they were trying to teach you how to write ABOUT food, but didn’t communicate the point properly and instead made it seem as if they’d teach you how to write FOR food.

And if this is all for a good laugh…thanks.

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