“Baby, a dangerous idea that almost makes sense…”

by Katie Pizzuto on October 10, 2008

in Uncategorized

I gave my finger a nice slice the other day while reaching for a funnel, and it occurred to me that I should have some sort of OSHA warning in what I call my “crap drawer.” I’m usually pretty anal when it comes to buying (or in my case not buying) single-purpose tools, but you’d never guess it by looking in this black hole of storage. In fact, I should probably give Stephen Hawking a call—there may be research funding available for this sort of shit. So I decided to take a picture of the damned thing as an act of transparency, but then rethought my motives and realized it might have been self-deprecation in the hopes of getting some empathy.

I counted 4, yes 4, bottle cap openers, but couldn’t part with a single one, cuz one is part of my corkscrew (I use a waiter’s corkscrew but keep this for visitors who need handicapped tools), one that has Homer talking about “All work and no beer make Homer something something…”, one with a beautiful Peruvian etching, and one from Heineken with a magnetic back that might be useful…you know…if I happen to take a refrigerator on a picnic with me or such. The measuring cups drive me nuts too, because I could easily use the full cup for all measurements, but in a recipe that takes several ingredients/amounts, I’d have to keep rinsing and reusing…screw that!

Then there are both the microplane and the cheese grater, or should I say knuckle grater. Those are always lots of fun and keep your guests on their toes when they’re reaching in to grab one of the bottle cap openers, especially after they are a sheet or two to the wind. Please ignore the garlic crusher. It was a gift, and for that reason alone I can’t toss it. Towards the back there’s a melon ball scooper, which doubles as my chocolate truffle shaper, so that can’t possibly go. The list is endless, folks. Am I alone here? What non-disposable gadgets and gizmos clutter your crap drawer and WHY?!

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Linsey October 10, 2008

ooooooooh you’re not alone – i have…. well the list is endless (anthony didnt see a third of the small gadgets i have lol)

most useless piece is probably a small pastie maker, a plastic gadget that flips pastry over to make mini turnovers or pasties … complete rubbish

why dont i throw it away though?

i just love holding onto these things because one day they might just come in handy … even though they never do!

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2 Katie Pizzuto October 10, 2008

Don’t feel bad…I was gifted one of those too, Lindsey! That one, however, I finally got up the nerve to throw out.

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3 John October 10, 2008

One junk drawer? That’s it? We’ve got 2 kitchen drawers full of mellon ballers, and tuna can strainers, and implements of destruction that do God knows what.

Good post.

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4 Linsey October 10, 2008

hey! can i have the tuna can strainer – i always end up pouring half of it down the sink lol

also have a jar bottle opener – dont use it coz its easier to just bang the jar on the side of something hard to break the pressure seal

i have one gadget though – its like a pair of scissors but at the end are two half balls – think it was for making meatballs with – great for doing stuffing balls though

in the end half of these gadgets can be done just as easy without them – so why did we buy them

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5 Katie Pizzuto October 10, 2008

never understood the meatball maker….are hands not good enough?!? As for breaking the seal on a jar, I realize banging it is a great release of aggression, but you might try using a spoon next time…jam it up under the lip and pop….does it every time!

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6 John October 14, 2008

Katie Pizzuto AKA Martha Stewart AKA Heloise.

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7 Katie Pizzuto October 14, 2008

Thems is fightin’ words, John. Martha recommends pouring leftover wine into an ice cube tray for future cooking….in my house, there’s no such thing as leftover wine.

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8 Jeff October 17, 2008

Oh, yes – I have a ton of crap…and I am, indeed, a fan of having multiple measuring cups, etc, for the same reason you are. It is indeed amazing how this stuff takes over! 😉

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